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Tales of Turning has been holding workshops with men in Durban with the aim of decreasing gender based violence.  Listen to the video below to find out more! Through meaningful conversations with men we’ve explored:

• What are the expectations placed on men by society? When we say ‘act like a man’ how are we asking men to behave?
• What impact are these expectations having on men themselves?
• What impact does this prevalent story of what it means to be a man have on women and children?
• How can men step outside of these gender expectations?

Listen to my conversation with Ntobeko in the video below to learn more! Here is a sneak peak of what he had to share with us:

“I think for me the best way for men to unsubscribe from the narrative is to change their story, to start listening to a different story.  I don’t think it’s possible to passively move away from what you’ve always known, it’s got to be an active thing of actively looking for something that tells a different story and when you begin to critically engage with that and ask yourself why, then you’ll start to see a bit of a change.”

“The take away for me would be to engage in different contexts, read different books, watch stuff that makes you uncomfortable. Listen when women are having conversations about how men treat them. Don’t be quick to become defensive, that’s also because we’re trying to uphold this dominant idea of masculinity that makes you defensive, so just sit back and listen to the conversation. Then engage with yourself critically, why did I do that, why is that my behavior, why is that my immediate thought process ? And if you start doing that I think you’re on a journey to unlearn and unsubscribe from the dominant masculinity. Change the content of what comes in so you can filter out what you’ve been taught as you’re growing up. You also have to stay responsible to the internal journey because you can’t just change things aesthetically outside but not change anything in terms of how you think ”